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Goons
Posted: Tyrian Solteuer @ 06 March 2007 17:01
Tyrian Solteuers avatar
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Got Milk ?
Posted: Bach @ 08 December 2006 15:40
Bachs avatarScragg, his most exquisite and Eternal Emperor of Curse has issued the following decree:

The Goon Swarm for their unspeakable and silly acts against all peace loving members of the Tyrell Corporation shall meet the followings demands. Failure to comply completely and promptly shall result in Tyrell Forces taunting the Goons yet a second time and they shall be relieved of countless numbers of ships.

The Goonswarm Alliance shall remove the letter G from their name and henceforth shall be refereed to as the Oonswarm.

The Ooonswarm Alliance shall supply to the Tyrell Corporation with 100,000 units of spirits. Oh.. and not that cheap IAC produced crap. We want the real stuff produced by only the finest Galente Virgins.

The Ooonswarm shall establish the Tyrell Widows and Orphans fund by placing 10 Billion isk on account with the fist national Caldari state bank. 5 billion of said funds shall be distributed to new capsule pilots at random in Rens and Jita along with a “Got Milk?” bumper sticker which shall be displayed proudly on their noob ships.

One planetary vehicle shall be placed on escrow for his majesty. A shiny red one with chrome wheels, a convertible top, fuzzy red dice, and a chain steering wheel. In 6.5 Inch gold letting it shall be named "The Love Machine"

All Ooonswarm members shall remove the Ctrl and Q keys from their computer keyboards.

All Ooonswarm members shall rename their ships to WeLoveWwhisper for the period of thirty days.

As his word is spoken it is commanded.


Edited by Bach on 08 December 2006 at 15:41
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News from the front!
Posted: BuildArk @ 08 June 2006 10:36
BuildArks avatar

Angel Cartel opens ties with capsuleer alliances
reported by: Raekhan | 2006.06.05 14:39:38

The long silent and reclusive criminal superpower Angel Cartel has made a major about face in policy this week. Xavier Khun, lead diplomat for the Angels, hosted a reception in the HLW-HP system in Curse, attended by a multitude of diplomats representing capsuleer organizations that operate in the area. "It is our goal to seek a stable are of space which promotes commerce and ensures the safety and security of our borders." said Khun to the assembly, "Those of you who have chosen to reside in our space are will presented with a unique opportunity to prove yourselves and in doing so potentially gain a powerful ally."

Khun then revealed the details of a major offensive upon the Cartel by the remnants of the Sansha's Nation. These attacks have escalated in recent weeks, and the Cartel is preparing for a strong counterattack in the Catch region. Capsuleer Alliances were being asked to align with the Cartel in this conflict. Many of the attending delegates offered their support on the spot, including Ascendant Frontier and Galactic Empire, who according to Mr. Khun, have already been involved with the Cartel in the opening phases of the war.

The plans of the Cartel in this move seem vast. "What we are looking for is the corporations and alliances that are willing to prove their worth to us. And in doing so join us in building up this area of space into a truly respectable nation." said Mr. Khun. This possibility, unheard of in its scope, seems to offer a huge incentive to the capsuleer navies of the politically unstable South.

Military analysts across the EVE cluster are already reeling at the precedent this could set when dealing with threats beyond CONCORD-sanctioned space. "In the continuously evolving business of warfare, capsule pilots have become an inevitably important factor." said Tarien Kurenli, a professor from the Society of Conscious Thought in Geminate. "While some of the Empires have begun to see the advantages of having loyalist capsuleer fleets, it is distressing that in the depths of lawless space, enemies of humanity are the first to reach this far. Change comes slow it seems."

Neuden Odjel of the Gallente State Dept. says there is a reason for healthy scepticism. "Sure, capsule pilots are wonderful strategic assets. They have their own supply lines, autonomous infrastructure, but as any agent working with them will tell you, an egger looks after his wallet, not your mission. Powers beyond the borders of civilization would do well to remember that a lot of these roving pirate bands they seek to deploy are only focused on what's in it for them."

Further negotiations behind the scenes are expected to continue throughout the week. !


 

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